Pity party. . . . This is not the type of invitation that I would want to receive.
Yet last evening I found myself throwing a pity party. I didn’t invite anyone else . . . . I had enough sense to realize that no one wants an invitation to someone else’s pity party. I kept reminding myself that today, with time and space, my perspective would be different than it was in that moment.
Last night I had the insight to realize that it was a pity party and not to allow myself to wallow in the negative thoughts. But there are many moments when that insight is lacking and the wallowing takes place for far too long.
I have found that there is value and lessons learned that have come from past pity parties and moments of wallowing in negative thoughts. Would I want to avoid pity parties and negative thoughts? Absolutely!
Yet it is in those dark moments that God’s truth is blinding. My prayers in the dark moments are more heartfelt, more vulnerable, and more desperate. I wish it would not take dark moments to be desperately seeking God’s hope and strength, but that this was my mindset in all moments. Although I do not want to seek out the pity parties or wallow in the negative thoughts, when I find myself there I pray that I will always see how God can/will use them to refine me.