Although I believe in God and have faith in His Word, one of the things I have struggled with spiritually since Scott’s death is worry and anxiety. In talking with others who have experienced tragedy in their lives, I have come to realize that this is a common problem. Because I have experience unexpected tragedy in my brother Jason’s accident and then death 12 years later, as well as Scott’s unexpected death, my mind is hyper-aware of the fact that life is not in my control and something can happen at any moment to tear away someone that I love dearly. Sometimes the anxiety and worry hit for no apparent reason and my imagination can run rampant. Other times I find myself worrying about the future. Sometimes it takes a long time for me to hear God reminding me to trust Him, that He is in control.
In recent days, God has brought it to my attention that this is an ongoing issue for me. I have spent much time thinking and praying about it. So often a simplistic answer is offered – just think about something else, think about something positive, or simply – stop worrying. Those of you who have been there know that the only simple answer is God, but in saying that I realize that the process of trusting God is not easy and it is not a “cure.” Simply by saying that I trust God does not erase my worry and anxiety. I believe it is a journey – a journey of continuing to draw closer to God, continuing on a daily – or hourly or minute by minute – basis to deliberately put it back in God’s hands, praying for His wisdom and guidance, and trusting that He will help you move forward on this journey. (Just for clarification, I believe that medications and counseling are God’s provision if needed and not a sign of weakness.)
Has my worry and anxiety disappeared? No, but I am hearing God’s voice more quickly reminding me to pause, pray, and put it in God’s hands. Sometimes a quick prayer is enough to bring peace and other times it is ongoing prayer that gradually brings peace. I need to remember not to give up and not to get discouraged when I do worry or get anxious, but to continually return to God in prayer. I’m thankful that God will never give up on me and will continue to work in me.
“We have a Savior who has never once failed us. He never will fail us. He has loved and led and guarded us all these years.” -- Amy Carmichael
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.